Translating governmentspeak ... this week: I'm not a Tory

AS political identity crises go, it's major. On the eve of hisparty's gathering in Liverpool, I now have a strange vision of NickClegg walking up and down in his conference hotel suite, repeatedlysaying to himself: "I'm not a Tory. I'm not a Tory. I'm definitelynot a Tory."

The deputy prime minister had a memo-to-self moment last week. Itcame during an internet chit-chat with an online mothers' network.The old Clegg, the one who used to be just the leader of the LiberalDemocrats, once found this kind of environment a no-fear zone.LibDem policies could be discussed, defined and promised, all in theopen knowledge that implementation was never on the agenda. Then Mayhappened.

Now Clegg is Cameron's number two in the coalition. And insteadof his trip north to Liverpool being a triumphant journey of rewardfor taking the LibDems to a place they've not been since the early1930s, Clegg's inner demons are clearly getting the better of him.After one question on the net, Clegg replied: "I'm not a Tory."

In the May sun, out in the Downing Street garden with the newprime minister, Clegg seemed super-relaxed at the deal he'd justpulled off. Back in May the deal was a partnership. In September,it's an identity crisis.

Political historians with a keen interest in psychology will beable to imagine similar afflictions. Ramsay MacDonald becameLabour's first prime minister in 1924. He was in office for lessthan a year, but bounced back in 1929. That didn't last long either.Then came the real crisis. By 1931 MacDonald was still PM - butheading a national government containing mostly Conservative MPs.You can imagine him pacing his rooms in Number 10 whispering tohimself: "I'm a socialist. I'm still a socialist. Yes, I'm asocialist."

MacDonald left himself nowhere to go. And Clegg's mantra suggestshe, and the 19 LibDem MPs who have jobs in the new government,already know they've bought a one-way ticket to coalition-on-sea.The way back if things go pear-shaped? There isn't one.

But he can't tell his conference that. He has to tell them of thecompromises won, insider victories, pledges secured, damage avoidedbecause of collective coalition responsibility. He'll hint and winkat how power can transform. And he'll say that, once the electorateunderstand, that everything will be all right.

But when he gets off the conference platform and back to hissuite? He'll walk up and down again saying: "I'm not a Tory. I'm nota Tory."